It’s no secret that an orgasm can be one of the most pleasurable experiences a person can have. However, not everyone is able to reach this heightened state of sexual pleasure. In fact, recent studies suggest that up to 43% of women have experienced some degree of difficulty with reaching an orgasm. Some women can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation!
This is a topic that is often stigmatised and rarely openly discussed, which can make it even more difficult for individuals experiencing this issue to seek help. Understanding the various factors that can contribute to orgasmic dysfunction is essential in order to better address and overcome this issue. Psychological, medical, and physical factors all play a role in one’s ability to achieve orgasm. In this article, we will explore the different factors that can affect a person’s ability to reach an orgasm and what can be done to overcome them.
1.You Have High Anxiety
If you have high anxiety, it can interfere with your ability to reach orgasm during sexual activities. Intrusive thoughts and worries may distract you from pleasure, and the fear of not being able to orgasm can make it even more difficult. Fortunately, there are measures you can take to alleviate anxiety and promote a relaxed and enjoyable experience.
One helpful approach is to confront shame and guilt-inducing narratives that may be internalised from societal norms and expectations. Recognising and challenging these negative beliefs, such as the idea that sex is shameful or that women should not pursue their own pleasure, can help reduce anxiety and increase sexual confidence.
In addition to this, seeking professional help from a sex therapist or a mental health professional can also be beneficial. They can provide strategies to manage anxiety, work through any underlying issues, and promote a healthy and fulfilling sex life.
Finally, engaging in mindfulness and relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or mindful eating, may also help reduce anxiety during sexual activities. The goal is to promote a worry-free environment that allows for sexual pleasure and release. With these measures, you can alleviate anxiety and fully enjoy your sexual experiences.
2.Your Oxytocin is Low
If you’ve been feeling disconnected from your partner or experiencing feelings of stress and anxiety, it’s possible that your oxytocin levels are low. Often called “the love hormone,” oxytocin is a neurotransmitter that plays a crucial role in social bonding and emotional wellbeing. Here are a few ways to increase your oxytocin levels.
Firstly, spend more time engaging in physical touch with your partner. This can include holding hands, hugging, kissing, and looking into each other’s eyes. These gestures can help create a sense of intimacy and increase feelings of security and trust, leading to higher levels of oxytocin.
If you don’t have a partner or are unable to engage in physical touch with them at the moment, consider cuddling with a furry friend. Petting an animal has been known to boost oxytocin production, leading to feelings of calm and comfort.
3.You Don’t Drink Enough Water
If you’re having trouble reaching orgasm during sexual activity, the issue may not be psychological, but rather physical. One simple and often overlooked solution to sexual dissatisfaction is hydration. Staying properly hydrated is essential for overall bodily function, and that includes sexual function.
The arousal tissue, including the clitoris and labia, needs adequate moisture to work properly. Without it, friction can cause discomfort or even pain, leading to less enjoyment and difficulty with orgasm. Drinking enough water can help the arousal tissue slide and glide freely for a more pleasurable experience.
Before engaging in sexual activity, it’s important to consume an extra glass or two of water, especially if alcohol or other dehydrating substances are also involved. And remember, staying hydrated is not just important for sexual satisfaction, but also for overall health and wellbeing. So drink up and enjoy a worry-free and satisfying experience!
4.You Don’t Make Noise
For many women, making noise during sex can be difficult. However, vocalisation plays a vital role in sexual pleasure, both for ourselves and our partners. Being vocal can enhance the sensory experience and communicate our desires to our partners, leading to a more satisfying experience.
If you’re uncomfortable making noise during sex, there are ways to feel more comfortable. Try starting with small, subtle noises and gradually building up to louder ones. You can also talk to your partner beforehand and let them know that vocalisation is important to you. This open communication can help you both feel more comfortable and connected during sex.
In addition to being vocal, it’s important to tune into your sensory experiences and communicate what feels good to your partner. This can involve using nonverbal cues, such as arching your back or moaning, or verbal communication, such as telling your partner what you like or asking them to try something different.
5.You Don’t Feel Sexy
Feeling good about oneself is essential to a healthy sex life, including the ability to orgasm. Insecurities and negative self-talk can take one out of the moment and make it difficult to fully enjoy sexual experiences. Fortunately, there are ways to overcome insecurities and develop a more positive self-image.
One technique to combat negative thoughts is through mindfulness practice. This involves being present in the moment and observing thoughts without judgment. A breathing technique can also help to calm the mind and focus on bodily sensations, leading to a more pleasurable experience. Additionally, journaling can be a useful tool to break the pattern of overthinking and identify and address negative thoughts.
Common insecurities related to body image issues can be particularly detrimental to sexual experiences. Exploring one’s own sexuality through masturbation can help to build confidence and feel more comfortable in one’s body. It can also provide an opportunity to identify what feels good and communicate those desires to a partner.
Feeling good about oneself may not happen overnight, but through mindful practices, journaling, and exploring one’s sexuality alone, it’s possible to establish a more positive self-image and enjoy worry-free orgasms.
6.You’re Afraid to Lose Control
For some individuals, the fear of losing control during sexual experiences can be a significant challenge. This fear can stem from past experiences or cultural messages that suggest one must always be in control. The good news is that it’s possible to release the need to be in control and go with the flow.
One approach to overcoming this fear is by acknowledging what may be contributing to it. Was there a past experience where control was taken away? Are cultural messages about sexuality impacting your ability to let go? By recognising these factors, it becomes possible to address them and move forward.
Deep breathing can also be helpful in releasing control and focusing on the sensations in your body. Take deep breaths in and out and pay attention to how your body is feeling. Don’t focus on any specific outcome; instead, allow your body to respond naturally.
During sexual experiences, make it a point to focus on the sensations you’re experiencing. Don’t worry about what is happening or what might happen; just enjoy the moment. By releasing the need to be in control and allowing your body to go with the flow, fear of losing control can be overcome.
7.You Don’t have Enough Lubrication
Lubrication is an essential component of sexual activity, whether alone or with a partner. Using lubrication can enhance pleasure, reduce discomfort, and make the experience more enjoyable and worry-free. Insufficient lubrication can tear your skin and irritate delicate areas causing discomfort and hindering sexual experience, especially for women. Studies show that lack of lubrication is associated with difficulty in reaching orgasm and sexual satisfaction.
There are different types of lubricants to choose from, including water-based, silicone-based, oil-based, and hybrid lubricants. Water-based lubricants are the most popular and easily available. They are also suitable for most types of sex toys and condoms. Silicone-based lubricants are longer-lasting and offer more slickness but may damage silicone-made toys. Oil-based lubricants, including natural oils such as coconut, are perfect for longer sessions, but they can cause condom breakage. Hybrid lubricants combine water and silicone-based ingredients for the benefits of both.
Using lubrication is essential, especially for women who might have difficulty reaching orgasm. If you experience discomfort or pain during sexual activity, it is recommended to use a good quality lubricant to reduce friction. Experimenting with different types of lubricants can be helpful to find the one that best suits you and your partner’s needs. Overall, lubrication is a simple yet effective way to improve sexual experiences and promote pleasure.
8.Speak Up About your Desires.
When it comes to sexual satisfaction, you might need to watch some porn to get turned on. Whether you’re exploring a new partner or looking to spice up your routine with a long-time lover, it’s essential to speak up about your desires. What type of sexual acts feel good to you? What kind of touch brings you pleasure and helps you reach orgasm?
As much as we wish our partners could read our minds, it’s up to us to be responsible for our pleasure. Guide your partner accordingly by communicating what feels good and what doesn’t. Use groans or touches of the hand to show your desires, and if they still don’t get it, don’t be afraid to tell them directly or move their hand where you want it to go.
Remember, there’s nothing wrong with asking for what you want in the bedroom. In fact, it can lead to more satisfying sexual encounters and deeper intimacy with your partner. So don’t be shy, speak up about your desires, and enjoy the pleasure that comes with it.
9.Remember to Pee Before Sex
One important step in setting the stage for a satisfying sexual experience is to remember to pee before sex. While it might not seem like a big deal, having a full bladder can actually impact your ability to orgasm.
When your bladder is full, it can create a feeling of pressure and even anxiety, which can prevent you from being fully present in the moment and enjoying sexual activity. This can make it difficult, if not impossible, to achieve orgasm.
To avoid this, take a few minutes to head to the bathroom before getting intimate. This will not only help you physically prepare for sex but also create a more relaxed atmosphere for both you and your partner.
Remember, a satisfying sexual experience requires attention to detail and self-care. Peeing before sex might seem small, but it can make a big difference when it comes to experiencing pleasure and reaching orgasm. So, don’t forget to take this important step before getting hot and heavy with your partner.
10.You’re too Focused on Results
Focusing too much on achieving orgasm can actually hinder sexual pleasure for many women. This emphasis on the end goal takes away from the intimacy that can be experienced through sensuality and relaxation. Instead, try shifting the focus to enjoying the moment and increasing intimacy with your partner.
Developing sensual practices and relaxation techniques can be helpful in this regard. Reading erotica, trying out sex toys, or exploring your own body can help take the emphasis away from the end goal of orgasm and place it on sensuality and pleasure.
Remember that sexual pleasure is not just about reaching orgasm, but about connecting with your partner in a deeper and more intimate way. So, take the pressure off and focus on enjoying the intimate moments, whether that be through kissing, hugging, or exploring each other’s bodies.
By shifting the focus away from orgasm and towards sensuality and intimacy, you may find that you experience even more pleasure during sexual activity.
In conclusion, achieving orgasm can be a difficult task for many women. However, there are several ways to increase your chances of reaching orgasm. Using lubrication, speaking up about your desires, and peeing before sex are just some of the tips that can help improve sexual pleasure and increase your chances of experiencing orgasm. Additionally, shifting the focus away from results and onto the moment can help you relax and enjoy intimate moments with your partner. So remember to take your time and focus on the pleasure and intimacy that comes with sex. By taking the pressure off, you may find that it’s much easier to reach orgasm.